you asked me why

you asked me why i thought i was in love with him.
never thought it was something i’d need to explain,
or even that i could.

of course there are all the superficial things—
what i see with my eyes —
that drew me to him.
but it’s the vision of my heart into his soul that
makes me want to stay.
makes me want to do the things that i can’t say.

i’m much blessed by our friendship,
but i wonder maybe
more than i should ‘what could be?’

i ache for him every time i see him.
i burn when he touches me.
and i try to breathe when he leaves me.

i must have thought about him about a thousand times today.
and a thousand times he made me smile.
behind my dark shades,
i love watching him watch me when he thinks i’m not
watching him.

i love his sensitivity and his sense of self.
i love who he is and how he is with the people in his life.
i love watching him with children and his sense of family.
i love the way he loves his mom.

his positive vibe.
his spiritual strength.
his infectious, crazy-ass laugh.
the fearless free fall of his tears.
the endearing way he separates my twists.
the tenderness of his kiss.

i love the way he freaks me when we dance — and
since i’ve felt the general
standing at attention, anytime he wants to send in
the troops, i’ll welcome the invasion.

i love his eyes and i love not only the way he looks at me,
but the way he sees me and knows me and still hangs with me.
like
maybe he feels me.
maybe one day he could love me.

i love how he is with me…how he treats me like a queen.
i love that i can still smell his cologne in my
clothes hours after we’ve said goodbye.

i love how it feels
how i feel
how he feels
when i’m wrapped up in his arms.

i know right now i’m just wading my feet in the pool
of a romance,
but i want him to jump in with me and get wet with me in a
love so deep we could drown.
and hell, i can’t swim.
but he makes me feel like i can…

like i can fly.  he makes me soar.

knowing him makes me want to try love just once more…

you asked me why.

 

© 2016 CMRainey. All rights reserved.